today has been heavy.
i’ve been missing a girl.
a particular girl, not simply feeling the absence of girl.
i’ve been regretting my career choice with enriched vigour.
(hah, seeing as that’s what i lack most)
a pull against my chest.
a physicality i’ve never understood:
these are just thoughts.
perhaps my body knows something i don’t.
but it feels like it’s mourning.
did i miss my calling?
was there something else to be tried?




